Do you have a “Doing Addiction”?
I’ve recently re-started going to the gym in the early morning hours. Each time I’ve gone, the same woman has been present both when I start my exercise and when I leave. She runs flat out on the treadmill, reads a magazine, and has ear buds in so she can watch the morning news.
She is a perfect example of how many of us run our lives: doing as much as we can with each moment.
While I have nothing against being productive, the desire to DO in each moment can end up becoming an addiction to the rush of cortisol and adrenaline. Neither of these hormones is friendly to your fertility over the long term. Breaking the habit of cortisol and adrenaline can be as challenging as trying to stop eating sugar or drinking your caffeinated beverage of choice.
If you are experiencing unexplained infertility, or if your fertility treatments have not been as successful as they “should” be, I highly recommend learning to balance your doing with being.
Being is not about sitting on a mountain top meditating while giving everything up but the clothes on your back. Being is not about giving up your desire to have your child.
Being is about creating places of quiet in your life. Being is about allowing peace in your body. Being is about trusting that no matter what happens, you are going to be a Mother and therefore you can feel peace and expectation in this moment, before you have any evidence of a baby.
To discover if you have a “Doing Addiction,” consider the following questions:
- When in your life do you allow yourself to be in a space of quiet? (Does your phone accompany you into the restroom? Do you always have the radio or TV on? When you are walking/running/exercising, do have your attention on something else as well?)
- What is your relationship with your to-do list? Is it always on your mind? Are you always adding to it?
- Do you always feel ‘behind’ and as if you have to catch up with everyone else?
- Do you feel guilty if you “just sit”?
If you find you are trending towards having a “Doing Addiction,” I invite you to plan a time of quiet into your daily life. Start small. Start with five minutes. Those minutes may feel like torture but the more you allow yourself peace throughout the day, the more you will lessen the effects on your fertility of constant adrenaline and cortisol.
